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I don't get it.

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I know I made a mistake. But when I'm trying so hard to progress I keep having all these stupid draw backs, that I guess I make myself.

I'm so financially fucked up right now, I just can't take it anymore. I just wanna be working towards a more financially secure lifestyle where I don't have to worry about if I can even buy fucking dollar burger at McDonalds. And I just keep fucking myself up. My credit cards been over its limit since last year, while I maintain shitty minimum payments, because that's all I can afford. I just over drafted my bank account 200 dollars, and I don't get paid until friday. But the sad thing is, is that I get automatic electronic deposit, so once my check gets in, I lose that 200 dollars. When I already owe a combination of people almost 100 dollars.

I know it's my fault the shit over drafted, but then again their ATM let me withdraw 50 dollars more than my actual balance one night. I saw what my balance was when I overdrew it, and it said it had the correct amount, it's just a payment didn't go through until later on. So getting my money out of that ATM, believing I still had money in the account even after the withdrawel, led me to believe I could spend just a little bit more money on food and whatever. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I keep trying to bring myself up and up, but it seems like I'm staying at the same low level, if not at times getting worse.

I don't even really spend money on myself, except to eat and stuff. I mean here and there I spend a few bucks, but I really really keep it to a decent minimum.

I don't fucking get it.

I guess more than ever I need to get myself driving.. As much as it'll improve, it'll still mean a lot more money out of my pocket :(

Money isn't what matters me, but right now I need it just to get my shit straight. I hate how this shit works.

FUCK i'm so mad sad pissed ugh. I don't think I ask for too much, I just want what I need. :(
Current Location:
Current Mood:
depressed depressed
Current Music:
christmas music
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